Memories
by Soulreciever
Summary: The transition between the man he used to be and the man that he must now become is a hard one especialy when he has only the memories of the one he loved as a pathway. SuSei
1. Collar

Memories. 

T: Having rather enjoyed writing an angsty Subaru I thought I'd give this a whirl! A warning that this is much, much darker than my usual want but I hope that that won't scare too many people away! I will also be moving about a lot within the timeline, but hopefully it'll remain clear where I am. Apart from that there is also SLASH, and COMPLEX LOGIC through out. I am not a member of Clamp, though I am, apparently, becoming as evil as them! Things in _italics_ are from a Seishiro perspective.

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_A cat sits on his doorstep, a look of hopeful optimism in its stark green eyes._

_He bends to ruffle its fur and enquires,_

"_Where are you from then kitty?"_

_The cat regards him with a bemused, 'why aren't you feeding me' look; then mews plaintively._

_Against his better judgement he allows the cat to enter his home and watches the thing eating with an odd amusement._

_Sooner or later the backlash would strike the creature but until then…_

_He had never had a pet of his own…_

He all but falls into the hallway, the last meagre reserves of his energy having been spent breaking the wards that lay on the house.

He manages; somehow, to keep to his feet until they collide, in the darkness, with a soft body.

He stumbles and there is a pained screech as he falls onto the cat.

Once his hear has calmed a little he tentatively gains his feet again and once he is within the glow of the electric light he searches the hallway for the animal.

He finds it pressed beneath the large oaken bureau that all but monopolises the tiny hallways and after a solid half hour he manages, at last, to coax out the creature.

The thing is slightly over weight and old enough that it has developed the strong facial definition typical to a tomcat.

About his neck has been wrapped a deep red ribbon, upon which has been securely attached a name tag,

"'Midnight'." The cat mews in a soft questioning manner and he strokes it absently as he turns the tag over.

The mettle on the opposite side is blank but for a small engraving of an inverse pentagram.

"It seems you are mine now." He informs the creature before he finds his feet again.

_Midnight_ _watches him curiously from his perch on the table, his eyes flicking occasionally to linger on the movement of his quill._

_He is just finishing the final symbol that will turn the slip of paper from simply that and into a powerful Ofuda when the cat pounces._

_The pen scratches hard across the paper and manages to scrape a sizable groove in the wood of the table before he gains control of its momentum._

_He and the cat exchange a glance and then he smoothes its fur and informs it,_

"_Do not do that again." Before he discards the now useless slip of paper and begins instead on a letter. _

The living room is a spacious thing which opens out, through a set of French windows, into an ornate garden.

At the centre of the small circle created by the furniture is a long rectangular table made, oddly, from cherry wood.

There is a deep scratch near the edge of one corner, this made, judging by its depth, with the tip of a quill.

Balanced on the table, beneath a small glass paperweight, is a letter written in a familiar hand,

'Subaru-kun,

Welcome to your new home.

Your bedroom is the green door while behind the red is all you shall need to create Ofuda and learn of the history of the Sakurazuka bloodline.

Fuuma shall come to see you in a few days, but until then I suggest that you get to know the house and get yourself a little rest.

For the moment the cat shall look after himself.

Seishiro'

He screws the thing into a tiny ball and tosses it angrily over his shoulder.

_As always after he had spent time in the company of his Kamui he was feeling a little itchy._

_True enough the boy searched for the more amusing aspects of life, just as he himself did and yet…_

_The ground shifts lazily beneath him and his in the door jam almost without thought. _

_His wards are strong enough that a traditional earthquake could not affect the house and thus this can only be the collapse of another Keiki._

_Curious he dons his coat and makes out towards sunshine 60. _

He stirs to find the cat balanced in his chest, its tiny body curled hard into his meagre warmth.

Feeling just slightly guilty he dislodges the animal and stands, his body complaining both from the oddity of his sleeping position and the hard labour that it had been through of late.

He opens the red door and steps through into what had been the inner sanctum of his one time enemy.

The space is filled with shelve upon shelve of ancient history and spell law, these interspersed with more modern texts that deal with theoretical advances for some of the well established magical spells.

Shoved against the far wall is a writing bureau that has been scattered with snatches of spells and the occasional textbook.

Two tomes are propped open on this desk, the first a detailed history of the Sumeragi line and the other on rejuvenation spells.

Pencilled notes have been scribbled in the margin of the magic tome and he reads only one of these annotations before he closes the book and moves on.

_As he had lived always with the thought to amuse himself, he had never quite believed himself completely incapable of emotion. _

_To feel so strongly though and for one whom he had viewed only as a pawn in his game…_

_It was, disconcerting, if only because it meant that, he had, at last, lost a small portion of his control over his own life._

_It also means that he must mow begin to put into action the last stages of the game, to this end he has shut himself into his study and found out the most relevant of his books. _

_He reaches, after a good hour, a tome on rejuvenation spells and scanning through the bulky chapters he finds, at last, something that might be useable. _

_He scribbles the note,_

'_Perhaps adapt this in order to preserve the item in question…also need to see if this will work with Su. Magic. V. Important.' Before he continues to read._

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T: It amused me to give Sei-chan a pet and as cats have a tendency to appear as if from nowhere one of the species seemed the perfect candidate. Things may not make total sense in this chapter as you are viewing the tying up of loose ends. Hopefully as I progress the unanswered questions will be answered! R+R as I need support to bolster my fragile confidence!


	2. Brand

2. Brand.

T: I don't have anything to really say about this chapter so on we go…Warnings remain the same and I still claim no ownership over the characters. This section is set a little BEFORE the last…indeed the rest of this story will be working its way back to Subaru discovering the house and from there the gift of the eye.

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He had gone, without hesitation, to Ueno Park and to the tree…

The moment that he had stepped into its centre of influence he had felt the shear intensity of the things 'emotions'.

Loss seemed the most predominant, mixed in with both curiosity and an odd streak of proprietary.

These 'feelings' so strong that they were almost as images in his head…an odd sort of telepathy that was somehow truer than if the tree had actually chosen to speak to him of its pain.

_The tree is less than happy with him…indeed its anger is strong enough that it is hurting his head,_

_"You are not happy about The Bet, Tree-san, I understand that."_

_The anger fades, just a little and is replaced with a feeling of curiosity._

_"You want to know why I made that Bet._

_"That child is oddly intoxicating, tree-san…I do not know how else to put it…"_

_He feels the tree hesitate and then he feels the sorrow so strongly that tears threaten in his own eyes._

"Seishiro is dead." He remarks as he sets a hand to the tree's trunk.

He feels a powerful wave of despair and then he is swept into an illusion.

A beautiful woman dressed in pail pink stands before him, her sightless eyes focused in his general direction.

She reaches forward to touch his heart and then she shakes her head,

_'You are not yet ready to take on this role…your heart is still so pure…'_

"I do not care…for the chance to have a little of him again at my side I would gladly suffer the guilt of being a murderer."

_'It is not as simple as that, Sumeragi Subaru.'_ She remarks before she reaches to pull him into a kiss.

The instant that contact is made he feels every emotion of the tree, every final feeling of those who had been given to feed the thing and he can feel not only Seishiro but the Sakurazukamori who had come before him.

His nose is bleeding by the time the spirit of the tree pulls from him and he brushes the blood away subconscious as she informs him,

_'You are not yet strong enough to claim all of me, firstly you must learn to let go your other life and the preconceptions that you have of the Sakurazukamori and then, perhaps, you shall be ready.'_

"Where should I go to learn what I must?"

_'To Seishiro's old apartment and from there you must follow whatever path he has set you.'_

_The last of his possessions has been placed into the removal van and the apartment looks now oddly forlorn._

_A calendar featuring cute kittens is the only sign that he has ever lived her, its presence linked to the part of the game that he shall not witness…that will take place after he is dead._

_He kisses the calendar and pins a note to it before he leaves this apartment for the last time. _

The landlord for the complex had simply had to hear his name before he was given a front door key and direction to the apartment in question.

There is no furniture in any of the rooms and a thin film of dust coats the floor, both proving what he had already known; Seishiro has not used this apartment in years.

A familiar calendar is the only decoration; a note pinned onto it so as to hide the cartoon kittens that had prompted his sister to purchase the item for Seishrio in the first place.

Flicking on the lights he takes down the note and reads it carefully,

'Subaru-kun,

This is the first step on your path to claiming your place as Sakurazukamori.

Upon this calendar I have written some useful addresses that you should visit and some telephone numbers that you should call.

The tree seems abrupt now, I know, but in time it will come to view you with an objective eye.

Remember to look after yourself.

Seishiro'

_The 'family' home is, once he has removed the dust covers, precisely as he recalls it and thus it takes him but an hour to fix in his mind where everything is._

_It takes another hour to re-connect his water, electricity and phone lines. Once this is done he places newer, stronger, magical wards about the house and exhausted, spends the evening simply un-packing boxes. _

_It is near __midnight__ when he feels Hokuto's magical essence approaching the tree and though this is the one thing he has least wish to do…though he is still relatively tired…he dresses and heads for Ueno. _

He checks his hastily scribbled directions to be sure that he is, in fact, in the right place and then he steps through the doorway and into a shop full of traditional herbal medicine and incense sticks.

A withered man with a long grey bears stands behind the counter and regards Subaru a moment before he enquires,

"Can I help young man?"

Recalling the conversation that he had had with the man he had come to see Subaru reaches into his coat pocket and pulls free a slip of paper that he presses to the counter,

"I was told someone would be able to help me with this."

The man looks at the paper and the inverse pentagram that he has drawn into it and he smiles,

"Come with me."

He leads him though the back of the shop and down into a rather modern looking apartment complex.

"Take a seat." He remarks as he wonders into one of the bedrooms.

He emerges a moment later, all traces of his beard and of his age vanished as though they had never existed.

"You'll forgive the delay, Sumeragi-can, but the tourists expect a certain clique and it amuses me to give it to them."

"Of course."

The man settles into the chair opposite and takes another, deeper, look at him.

"So you are the one who finally snagged Seishiro…I must say you're younger than I thought you would be."

"A sentiment that many people have shared with you, Minari-san."

"Minoru, please."

"Minoru-san, I wish to learn everything I can from you about the Sakurazukamori."

"To be honest my knowledge is not in the being but in the power behind it.

"I've researched the many spells of the Sakurazukamori and I've learned a great deal about their uses and their faults.

"So I will not be the one to tell you of the legends of the Sakurazukamori, nor the truths of them.

"Instead I am going to tell you about those." He remarks as he touches the back of each of Subaru's hands.

"I know everything I need to of those brands."

"No, you know what Seishiro wanted you to know and what previous Sakurazukamori have caused your predecessors to believe.

"The 'brands' on your skin are not there to mark you as victim, but rather to mark you as his.

"Within the intricacies of their casting is layered a very strong and very unusual protection spell.

"A spell that assured that none but Seishiro could harm you and that none but he was able to get close enough to earn your affection."

"Yet why create such a spell and why lead me to believe it as a marking of my death?"

"The belief that those marks are a warning of death is one built through a technicality.

"The marks are only ever placed on the one who shall become the next Sakurazukamori and only then when they are too young to claim that position.

"Thus they signal an eventual 'death' of the person the barer of the marks used to be and their 'rebirth' as Sakurazukamori.

"As to why Seishrio cast the spell…I believe it was a little for jealousy and a little to protect you while you grew up."

"Protect me how?"

"Are you sure you wish to know?

There is something in Minoru's tone that almost brings him to request that they move from the topic and then he recalls how close Seishiro had felt to him merely from a kiss from the tree…

"Tell me."

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T: As you can tell there is going to be an interesting bit of logic in the next chapter to prepare yourselves for a bit of a head ache! R+R as I need confidence as far as this fic goes!


	3. Game

3. Game.

T: Having gotten to the end of this fic in pen I can say that it has a technical good ending…will make sense when you read it! I'm adding an extra warning of LONG UPDATES because I'm back at work and thus have less spare time to actually get round to typing this thing up! I'm not Clamp, though I seem to have become as evil as them somewhere along the line!

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"These marks were constructed so that any who wished you harm or who had fallen for you, would be punished in some way.

"Usually that punishment came in the form of Seishiro himself but occasionally…"

"Go on."

"There was a girl that you met during one of your cases…a round faced girl who was being terribly bullied."

"I remember."

"That girl grew attached to you, Sumeragi-san, enough that the spell took effect and she was blinded in one eye."

"Something that would not have happened if I had not come into her life?"

"Indeed and something also that held strong ramifications in the future.

"For Seishiro had not fully protected himself from the backlash of that punishment and so he too lost an eye."

He knows that he should feel angry for this revelation and what it meant for the loss of his own eye and yet Seishrio had hinted at the effects of a backlash when he had gone to see him in the hospital that first time and…

And even though it had been co-incidence that Seishiro had lost his eye when he did…

He still felt at last slightly responsible.

"I am afraid that there is still a little more, Sumeragi-kun.

"This spell has also been, in part, responsible for the suffering of the Kamui of the Dragons of Heaven."

"You mean that because of his feelings for me he has suffered more than he had need to?"

"Yes, I fear so."

"You will tell me how I might remove these brands…how I might make my amends for what I have done."

"You cannot now make amends, Sumeragi-kun, for you are no longer involved with that Kamui.

"As to the marks themselves…they shall fade once you become Sakurazukamori."

"And how can I achieve such a thing?"

Minoru writes an address down onto a piece of paper and informs him,

"That is where you shall find the next piece of the puzzle, Sumeragi-san."

_He has come today to visit the woman who he thinks of still as 'Obaachan.'_

_She is a smart woman despite her age and often before he has been caught out by one of her shred observations._

_"Is this a business visit or have you come simply to say hello?"_

_"A little of both, Obaachan." He replies before he catches her eye. "I will be handing over the legacy soon, Obaachan and I wished to assure myself that you are clear in what you shall be telling my successor."_

_"I should not have to be 'telling' him anything…_

_"My mother was tutor to the Sakurazukamori and her mother and her mother…in fact all the women in my family have held that position._

_"In all those years the succession of the tree has been a simple affair; an heir has been chosen and taken into the care of the current Sakurazukamori._

_"They have been trained as much as possible by their predecessor and then, afterwards, are trained by one of my line._

_"Thus they are already the perfect killers…are already ready to take the entirety of the tree's soul within themselves._

_"Yet you have changed all of that." She remarks, her tone as that of a mother talking to her disobedient child._

_"I should have expected it; your mother loved you too strongly and too quickly for her to enforce the hardness that was necessary to harden your heart._

_"She encouraged your lust for amusement until you made a game from everything in your life._

_"I tried so hard to beet it out of you but then you met this boy…"_

_"You will recall that that 'boy' is to be your next student, Obaachan."_

_"He is Sumeragi, Seishiro and thus he shall be as poison to the tree."_

_"I love him, Obaachan and that is, in the end, the only thing that matters."_

She looks at him with the same mix of emotions that he had felt so strongly from the tree and yet unlike the tree there is a kindness in her eyes also that relaxes him just a little.

"Minoru-san sent me here, Riji-san."

"And you are?"

"Sumeragi Subaru."

"I thought as such when I felt his presence on you and yet Seishiro being as he was I could not be sure."

"Will you tell me?"

"Do you want the truth or the speech that he prepared for me?"

His heart clenches and fearing the reply he enquires,

"Was I just a game to him then?"

"At the beginning I believe that you were…he was trying to prove me wrong, you see, trying to prove that anyone could become Sakurazukamori with the right incentive.

"It must have delighted him greatly to have you stumble upon him, for you were precisely the vessel he needed to prove his point.

"He created The Bet so that he had cause to seek you out again and reasonable cause to place those marks on your skin.

"Then when you met again he assured that you had cause to fall in love with him…cause to trust him beyond all others and then he clinically shattered that belief."

"Why?"

"Because he hoped it would cause you to hate him enough that you would become stronger that him and because he had begun to love you and he was afraid."

"Afraid?"

"You must understand, Sumeragi-kun, that for Seishiro love had become an all encompassing force more powerful even than Buda himself.

"His mother, Setsuka, had loved him fiercely, you see and always she would tell him of what her love meant for him…for his future,

"For him to realise that he had fallen for you, even a little bit, was as a shaking of his every belief.

"That was why he chose to leave your side for a little while, believing, ignorantly, that with time and distance the feeling would pass.

"There was something that would tie you tightly together, however, something he had not thought of because he had underestimated your sisters need to protect you and the effect that his betrayal would have on you.

"The latter, of course, would have meant an ending to the game and a chance for Seishiro to be free again but the former…killing your sister allowed him chance to carry on…to keep the game going.

"Yet with her blood upon his hands it became more than a game, it became about the hurt that your hate caused him and his absolute driving desire to allow you your vengeance…to make her death worth something."

"How could he believe that death was the best option?"

"I can not pretend to understand his logic, Sumeragi-kun, I know only what he told me and a little of the things he inferred to me in his body language.

"All that I can tell you is that he died, in the end, not for the sake of the tree but for you.

"He loved you and that love broke him in the end."

He had doubted Seishiro's love when the man had spoken of it on the Rainbow Bridge and yet now he believed in it with the whole heart of him.

Believed and hurt for the guilt of that belief.

"But you did not come for this tale, instead you came searching for a way to come to the tree and be accepted into its thrall.

"Seishiro asked me to give you a false account of his reasoning and then direct you to my library.

"The first I have refused to do and though I will gladly allow you the use of my library I recommend that you stop.

"You are Sumeragi and opposed, by your very blood, to the tree.

"Thus though you are the chosen candidate for succession such a thing can never be yours.

"Let Seishrio be proven wrong this one time and return back to those who love you…who will see you through your heart ache."

"Riji-san, I understand why you tell me these things and understand also that you do not know me. Thus I will not react to your words with the anger I feel at the heart of me, but rather, I will explain that there is no one else…

"Will explain that Seishiro has twisted me until I have bent in such a way that I can only interact with him…can only yearn for him.

"He is all that I am and so I can not turn back, not even should I have a want to."

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T: Heh…don't ask me where any of this logic has come from, I really would not like to say! I thought it up and then read through my Tokyo Babylon Manga again to see if my thinking hurt anything that happened in cannon…luckily, not only did it not hurt the canon it also fit it a little with Sei-chan's hospital reasoning. R+R I still need assurance about this fic!


	4. Blood

4. Blood. 

T: One of my personal favourite chapters for this story, just because Kakyo deserved a chance to be something other than a depressive, suicidal, person! Warnings remain the same and I still claim no ownership to anything here other than the plot and the bizarre logic!

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_He rarely dreamed as a rule, his mind desiring, as it did, to use the night time for resting rather than thinking. _

_When he did dream it was normally always of one of his predecessors and thus it startles him a little to be presented a dream of Hokuto's death._

_An explanation for this oddity comes a moment later when he feels a blow swipe his chin and an angry voice remarks, _

_"You were not worthy of her pity!"_

_"Kakyo-kun, I believed that we were on the same side…"_

_"This is not about the war, Seishiro-san."_

_"You loved her."_

_"More than anything else in the world, enough so that I chose to forgive you her death because that would have been her wish._

_"But that changed when I saw what you are planning to do…she died in a hope of saving you because she pitied you and you are simply throwing that away!"_

_"She died because she believed it was the only way she could save her brother…because she asked me to kill her."_

_"Can you honestly say that she would not have died otherwise? What about your beloved anonymity?"_

_"Hokuto-chan would not have told anyone who I was and yes, honestly, if she has not asked me then I would not have done it._

_"She was my friend, after all and Subaru-kun loved her very much."_

_"You do not fool me, Seishiro! It did not matter that Hokuto was your friend…_

_"Or have you forgotten that I see into dreams?" Kakyo enquires as he gestures towards the now barren dreamscape._

_An image blooms in the shadow and he recognises the situation well enough that when his younger self jumps down from the tree it is not at all a surprise._

**_"Obaachan, I've been thinking." _**_The younger him remarks as he turns to look into the eyes of the dreamer,_

**_"About what, Seishiro?"_******

**_"About what you said last week…that I would have to choose my successor from a selection of people that you picked."_**

**_"Seishiro, it is too early to be thinking about your successor._**

**_"You have many years to grow and develop before it becomes necessary to train someone new."_**

**_"Not if I am going to do it my way. Obaachan, I want to love the person who is going to kill me, just as Kasan loved me... _**

**_"Therefore, I want to choose my own successor, rather than be forced to chose one of your candidates."_**

**_"Seishiro…there are rules for a reason; the tree will not accept just anyone…"_**

**_"Let us see, shall we, Obaachan."_**

****

_"All of this, even Hokuto's death, has been because of your obnoxious pride. _

_"You can not stand to be wrong, even about such a thing and so you pushed and you pushed…_

_"But Subaru was not as resilient as you believed and suddenly you pushed so hard that he broke…Hokuto…Hokuto was simply a way for you to continue your little 'game.'"_

_"Leave me alone, Kakyo."_

_"Whatever you wish, Seishiro."_

He must have fallen asleep over the books, for the next he knows the sunlight is streaming through the library and Riji-san is stood over him with pancakes in one hand and a thin blue diary in the other.

"I brought you some breakfast." She remarks as she sets the pancakes down. "I also brought you this for I thought you would wish to read it."

"Is it Seishiro's diary?"

"Yes."

"Then I would ask that you put it back, Riji-san."

"Call me Obaachan, all of my pupils do, Sumeragi-kun and I believe that you should read what Seishiro has written here.

"For in these pages are written his heart and thus they also contain answers that I will be unable to give you."

"Thank you." He remarks as he takes the book from her hands.

He waits until she is gone before he opens it out and begins to read the words written on its surface…

'…9th March 1985: Today I met the boy who I wish to be my successor and he is not, as I had expected, one of Obaachan's chosen.

It will take time to change him…to make him worthy of the tree and dark enough to be able to do as he must.

I have tied him to me with the old brands that Obaachan was telling me of last week and for now it should be enough.'

'…5th March 1992: Today he came upon me when I was not expecting it.

He has grown so beautiful over the years and his soul has become softer.

It seems almost a pity to mar him and yet…he is the only one who can succeed me now.'

'…4th July 1992: He was so upset today and his tears made him so perfect that I could not completely resist.

To taste him, even for a brief moment, was heaven.

I wonder if he shall allow me such a thing while conscious before the Bet comes to an end.'

'…7th March 1992: The Bet draws closer to an end and I do not know if I can go through with it.

I feel so very strongly about him, enough that I fear that I will live as Kasan did; clinging always to a vain hope that things might pass differently and loving an impossible love.

Perhaps we grow too close…perhaps I should distance myself a little from him in order that the 'Game' may continue as I have planned.'

'…7th march 1999: It has been so long since my last entry…since my eye was taken from me and Hokuto…

I had thought it all at an end…had thought that I would have to fall back into the constriction Obaachan wished of me and yet…

Today I saw him again and the hate in his eyes was enough that I know he shall do it.

Know that I have won…

Why does that sting so?'

'…8th February 1999: Today I watched Fuuma take away his eye and …

I had thought I was over this, had thought that I could be impartial and yet…

I have spent the last hour researching the spells necessary for the final part if the transfer and I have realised that I do not want this…

Have realised that I want only to be always at his side…

Want him to love me as I love him.

But it is too late; by killing Hokuto I have caused him to hate me and the only way that I can make amends is to give him my life.'

His hands are shaking uncontrollably as he reads that sentence and the tears welling in his eyes he tears the page free of the diary.

He continues to do as such until his eyes catch the final entry and his anger fizzles away.

'…March 1999: Subaru-kun, If you are reading this then Obaachan has done as I believed she might and you know the complete truth.

Forgive me…both for Hokuto and for this.

If I had known how much you would come to mean to me…

How much I would want to simply hold you in my arms…then I would not have started this.

Ask Obaachan to direct you to the 'family' home…there you shall find the final pieces of the puzzle.

Again, please forgive me.'

He brushes his lips over those final words and closing the diary he crosses back into Riji-san's living room he enquires,

"Where is the Sakurazuka family home?"

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T: I don't know why the diary cropped up or why Sei-chan seems so OOC in it…bah! I blame the plot bunny that started this whole mess! R+R…I need the love!


	5. Eye

5. Eye.

T: The final chapter and as I have said previously there is a technical happy ending to this angst fest…just keep reading! At the risk of getting this fic deleted I wanted to thank kuraitsubasa for being my one constant reviewer and for keeping my want to post this thing alive! There is probably a small increase in the ANGST this time around and the SLASH becomes more prominent. I do not own anything here apart from my vain excuse for a plot and some of the logic! Oh and we're back in the present for this chapter.

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He has been in the family home for a week now, familiarising himself with the feel of it and learning as much as he can of the Sakurazuka magic.

It has become his home and though there is a temptation still for the warmth and happiness of the Seals home this is now but a fait thing.

It is odd, but he can almost feel his old self falling away as an old skin, revealing beneath it the heart and the drive of the man he is to become.

Sometimes he can even feel Seishiro inside his mind, faint warmth that comforts him and yet burns a little at the same time.

He has come out to the garden to take in the afternoon air when he feels Fuuma's presence.

Though he had been warned of such an intrusion he is harsh still with the boy, something that the other laughs off as coolly as possible.

He talks a little of Seishiro and his Wish and then he presents him with the container that proves, beyond doubt, that Seishiro is truly gone.

Seishiro's magic is all about the thing and he knows then that this was to what the man was referring to both within his diary and in various notes within the text books.

One note, jotted somewhere amid a spell book, jumps quickly to mind.

'There needs to be some connection between the current Sakurazukamori and their successor, something other than emotion or simple possession.'

This was the connection, Subaru knew and once he had taken it from Fuuma…once it was within him, he would be as prepared as he could for the tree's possession.

This in mind he snatches the thing greedily from the boy's hands and hugs it close to his heart with the thought that soon he will be again at Seishiro's side…

That soon they shall be one.

………………………………………………………………………………

The nurse's voice drifts away from him as the anaesthetic takes affect and he finds himself lost a while within a dream…

…He is 16 again and dressed in one of his sister's ridiculous outfits…

…There is a thought in his head that he needs to find someone and so he begins to run…

…He runs until his feet feel heavy and the breath burns within his chest and yet still he can not find what he is looking for…

…Then a voice calls out his name and suddenly a door is before him…

…Seishiro waits for him inside, his face stretched into a beautiful smile and his hands extended out towards him,

'Come, Subaru-kun.'

…He steps forwards and Seishiro pulls him hard to him, his hands moving to brush at the small of his back…

…He can feel the warmth of that touch and he pushes desperately towards it…

…Seishiro dips and they are kissing, the heart in Subaru blooming until he feels as though he is on fire….

Then he is pulled back to consciousness by the gentle voice of the nurse and though he is again without Seishiro he can feel the warmth of his presence still within him.

"Keep the bandages there for a week, Sumeragi-kun and then come back for a check up."

………………………………………………………………………………

He can recall still how very confident he had felt as he had looked at his eye the first time.

Can recall how at peace he had been to see that brown in his face…to have Seishiro so close that he could touch him…

He had come to the tree with that confidence and that completeness bubbling though him as a warm fire.

The tree had wrapped him instantly into its illusionary heart and he is met again with the childish beauty of its 'human' form.

_'You have travelled far since last we talked and you bare now a part of Seishiro and yet…_

_'You are still Sumeragi, are still at the heart of you a poison to me.'_

"If I could bleed away that edge of myself I would.

"For I dreamt as they put this eye within me and he felt so close in that dream that I did not want to wake…

"You have him inside of you, that I felt when we touched the last and to possess him completely…to have him always within me…I would do whatever it took."

She smiles and he feels the warmth of her pride before she informs him,

_'Though he acted against the rules, though he, more than once, thought to turn from this…_

_'Seishiro has chosen well in you, for your passion…your drive…will make you the purest master that I have ever had.'_

She pulls him to her and then her lips are on his…

He feels himself falling, feels the strength of her envelope him and then he is again within the room that he had dreamt of during the operation.

Seishiro is sat at the edge of a large oaken chair, an expectant glint clear in his eyes.

"Welcome home, Subaru." He remarks, his voice smooth…perfect.

"Are you real?"

"As real as you want me to be, Subaru."

He smiles and crosses the distance between them, pulling Seishiro so close that he can feel the edges of his illusionary form blurring into his own.

"Will you forgive what I did, Subaru? Will you forgive that I made a game of your feelings and my own?"

"I do not know if I can forgive…for you had so many chances to turn away from the game and yet…

"Yet you were raised in a way that meant you did not completely understand the gravity of the choices you were making.

"Thus, though I can not forgive, I believe that I can understand and in time forget."

"Then it is enough."

He kisses him then and it feels so real that Subaru could almost forget that this was little more than illusion…

Could almost believe that Seishiro was truly at his side, loving him and protection him as he had during the Year of the Bet.

For this closeness he had given his soul and yet that was as the tiniest of sacrifices to him.

He had his Wish now, after all.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T: Yeh…not much I can say really…this ending just kind of spilled from me as I was writing the thing down and it was so nice that I couldn't bear to change it. As to slotting this into cannon, I'd say that this last bit happens the day before (beware the volume 18 spoiler) Nataku's demise. Also it was to the eye that Sei-chan's note in chapter one is referring…or rather to a spell to keep the eye fresh while Subaru goes soul searching…soz to those who thought otherwise! R+R it'll cleanse your souls!


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